Motherhood

I went in for my first OB visit yesterday, at 15 1/2 weeks. It feels like just the other day I was there for Abigail! I had forgotten how weird and uncomfortable it is to get a pap smear...That is definitely not my favorite procedure to sit through. But I'll tell you what is my favorite and what makes sitting through the pap smears and all the other unpleasantries of OB visits worth it: getting to hear the heartbeat.

I have been looking forward to that all these weeks. I can't explain the rush of emotion that floods my entire body as soon as the Doppler picks up that rapid thumping--coming from my body but someone else's heart. A tiny someone I haven't even seen or felt and yet already love. Although I hear it at every visit, that beautiful sound never loses its novelty for me.

An even bigger treat, which I wasn't expecting at this first appointment, was an ultrasound. My midwife offered to bring in the machine so we could have a look at the baby. She is not a technician and couldn't do any measurements, but of course I was still delighted.

Having already confessed how emotional I feel over a heartbeat, you can imagine how I felt at seeing a perfect little body--with tiny arms and legs and hands that were moving!

"Aww," the midwife said, "don't you just want to hold him?"

That evening I was having slightly-less-than-tender feelings toward my two-year-old as I chased her around the house with pajamas and toothbrush in hand. I managed to wrestle her into her pajamas while she took a turn brushing her teeth. Afterwards when she refused to surrender the toothbrush so I could have a turn, I told her that she would lose her bedtime story if she chose to disobey.

She chose to disobey. So we went to her room without a story, which, of course, caused a major meltdown. As I tried to put her in bed, she told me she needed to give Papa a kiss. Well, I'm a sucker for that stalling technique. So we went and found Erik, but she decided she didn't want to kiss him goodnight after all. Of course as we walked back to her room, she changed her mind. "Sorry," I told her, "we lost our opportunity." Another meltdown. Of course when we got to her room, I changed my mind. (Did I mention I'm a sucker for this stalling technique?)

"Ok," I said, "I will give you one more chance to kiss Papa goodnight." She calmed down and gave Erik a kiss and then waved to him sweetly as we headed back to her room. I sat with her in the rocking chair and sang a few songs. She curled up in my lap and laid her head on my chest. Then she looked up at me with the sweetest smile and said, holding up an index finger, "Mommy, sing ooooooone more song!" Well, I'm a sucker for this stalling technique. So I asked her what song she'd like me to sing. "The mermaid song!" Little Mermaid it was.

As I sang it for the third time (did I mention I'm a sucker for this particular stalling technique?), she looked up at me and said brightly, "Mommy, you really good singer!"

Sometimes--like when I'm chasing Abigail through the parking lot with an armload of groceries or wrestling her into her car seat while she's throwing a tantrum or struggling to get out the door on time to church as I balance a million books and bags in my arms and try to move my toddler gently up a huge flight of stairs with my foot because she's pausing to admire every ant and leaf along the way--I wonder how on earth I'm ever going to manage two children. (What I really start to wonder is how on earth my mother managed ten!)

But other times--like when I'm watching Erik and Abigail laugh their heads off at some game they've invented or when I listen to Abigail sing or when we snuggle on the couch together to read or when she "helps" me in the kitchen while I'm baking bread or making dinner or when I'm looking down at her as she's sleeping peacefully in her bed--I think there's nothing on earth as wonderful and fulfilling as being a mother. And I want to be one again. And again. And again.

An explanation or two

Sorry for our long absence. I feel I owe you an explanation.

Explanation #1: Maya.
Maya is the daughter of a friend of mine, who we have been babysitting full time for the last three weeks. Two little girls have been keeping me much busier than I had anticipated!

Explanation #2: Erik's master's thesis. Erik has been working hard on this the last few months. Often he will work at school all day, come home for dinner, and then get on the computer here to continue working on it after Abigail goes to bed. And since I haven't had much time or energy during the day to work on the blog (up until a few days ago, Maya's naps did not overlap with Abigail's nap, so one of them was always up), the only time I could have spent on it would have been in the evenings. This is a rather lame excuse, though, because I probably wouldn't have worked on the blog even if Erik hadn't been monopolizing the computer. I was very content to sit on the couch for several hours and read. It's a luxury I am usually too busy to indulge in these days.

Explanation #3: This is actually my #1 excuse--at least the one I choose to use the most. Abigail reveals it in the video.

Happy Easter & Passover

Around this time each year I get excited with the arrival of Spring and all the new growth and life that it brings. I really love getting outside more and playing soccer in the spring grad student league. Although it is a brutal reminder that I am not as fit as my mind remembers, something about playing infuses energy into me for days. This year is especially fun as I approach graduation and get to relax and enjoy life with my family and friends a little more. I'll worry about the daunting responsibility of becoming a doctor and caring for patients in July, but for now life is good (except for my public health master's thesis - note my procrastination here).

Easter seems to fit in so well with all the joy and excitement of springtime. While we have some fun plans for Easter such as an egg hunt with the under 5 year olds and Easter dinner with the family, I also like to try to do something to make the meaning of these special days real and alive for me. In the past I have seen a passion play, and a musical allegory called the Garden. I try to read and study about the great sacrifice that was done for all. I like to listen to Handel's Messiah as well as other music celebrating the resurrection of Christ. There are many different ways that people remember and honor the Savior, and many ways to serve Him and draw closer to Him. I wish I could say that I am extremely consistent in doing that year round or that I have a nifty way to celebrate Easter. Like many, I am trying to do better and be better in the midst of a busy world. I hope that this will be a memorable and meaningful holy day/week for each of us.

In an attempt to contribute to everyone's Easter, I will try to include below a 5 min. video made from an excerpt of a meeting we had last week. Twice a year we have a "general conference" of the Church. We hear from prophets, apostles and other inspired leaders. The broadcast is transmitted all over the world and translated into over 80 languages. All that goes to say that this is an Easter message for the whole world from a modern day apostle, Jeffrey Holland- something I esteem as of special value.

A Red Letter Day!

Our family had several reasons to celebrate last Thursday, March 19th. It was Abigail's second birthday and "Match Day" for Erik, the long-awaited event that would tell us where we were going to be the next three years during Erik's residency. I had also completed my finance class the day before, so I was able to relax and enjoy the day!

Here we are with bedhead and PJs on, opening Abigail's birthday box from Great-grandma Heiss. The suspense had been building for several days, but she was pretty sure she knew what was inside: cake.

Showcasing what was actually inside the box--a cute little picnic basket equipped with a tea set. No cake, unfortunately. Abigail was enchanted nonetheless.

Great-grandma also sent an animal counting book with removeable pieces. It was quite the page-turner.

Looks like a big hit, Grandma!

But nothing is as cool as bubblewrap.
This was another birthday present, which Erik's mom and dad delivered the week before Abigail's birthday, right before they left on an anniversary cruise. Another big hit!
And a little something to climb on too! We now officially have the coolest back porch on the block. Now Grandma just needs to help me screen it in before the mosquitos come! Otherwise mommy's watching from inside....

The best part of the morning for me was just having Erik home with us. Mornings when we're all together and not in a hurry aren't too common these days, but when they do come, I usually experience a surge of domestic energy and out come the apron and the pancake griddle! I must've been feeling a little too care-free and happy, though, because I dumped 3 tsp. of baking soda into the batter instead of baking powder. So we bit into some very bitter pancakes. I was the first to make a face. Erik took a bite and said they were fine, until the aftertaste kicked in. Then he did something for the first time ever in our marriage: he emptied his plate into the trash can. I followed suite. Abigail, on the other hand, finished hers and asked for more!

After breakfast (yes, I did make another batch of pancakes, by the way), we all drove to Emory for the big Match Day event. There was a little down time before the actual letter-opening, during which Abigail discovered the heavy construction work going on across the street. So she dragged Daddy over, and they walked along the fence with Abigail on his shoulders. She's carrying her doctor doll, which she thought fitting to bring along for the occasion.

There's just something endearing about a little girl who's got her daddy wrapped around her finger.

Ok, not the greatest picture, but you get the idea. The families and friends were all in the back, and the medical students were up front waiting for the dean to stop talking. At ten seconds till noon, we started the countdown. (Abigail got a little confused.) When the clock struck noon, there was a mad rush up to the table in the front to get your letter. Erik managed to find us in the crowd, and then he opened his envelope.

Our reaction to finding out that we'd matched at.....EMORY!! (Abigail was beginning to zone out at this point. Did I mention this event was during naptime?) Ok, to be honest, it was a little anti-climatic, with all the yelling and screaming and jumping up and down that was going on around us. That's not to say we were disappointed. Emory was our top pick, so we were very pleased....but we kinda already knew it was coming. And since nothing's really going to change, there wasn't much to start jumping up and down about. That said, we are VERY happy to be staying here. We think it was the best decision for our family, despite the attractions of some of the other programs where Erik interviewed. Our choice to rank Emory first wasn't as easy as we thought it was going to be. Erik was very impressed by and excited about some of the other schools where he interviewed, like Vanderbilt and D.C. and UAB, and he didn't think he would be as happy at Emory as he would in another program. But we both felt that living close to our families right now has been and will continue to be a great blessing. It's kind of a "golden age" right now with both our families. All of Erik's family members and all but two of my ten siblings are in GA, almost all of them within half an hour's drive. That probably won't last forever, but while it does, we want to be a part of it. Well, at least for the next three years.

Congratulations, Erik! We're so proud of you!

A bad haircut

Now that Erik's hair has grown back, I don't feel quite as ashamed writing this post.

On Valentine's Day weekend, Erik was scheduled to attend an overnight church youth conference (as a leader, in case you were wondering...) in Columbus, GA. He had mentioned early in the week that he needed a haircut before he left. For those who don't know, I have cut Erik's hair since we got married. It made me really nervous at first, but I've gotten used to it. Erik's also been extremely patient with me as I've learned. And for the record, I've always done a fairly decent job.....until this particular weekend.

Less than an hour before he was supposed to meet the young men at the church building, Erik reminded me that he needed a haircut. I told him we didn't have time. He said we had plenty of time. So....I quickly got everything set up in the bathroom while he put some last-minute things together for his trip. As I was waiting for him, I realized that I hadn't oiled the clippers. (Erik got a new hair cutting kit for Christmas, and the clippers require oiling before each use. I still haven't gotten used to that.) I quickly pulled off the attachment and oiled the blade. Then Erik came in and sat down. I immediately flipped the "on" switch and got right down to business.

Even after I took the first swipe, I didn't realize what I'd done.

I didn't even realize it when Erik, feeling cold metal against his scalp, yelped, "L'Anita!"

I didn't even realize it when I glanced down at the naked blade I was holding. "Oh, whoops!" I said. "I forgot to put the attachment back on." I grabbed it off the sink and put it on the clippers.

Erik started laughing--you know, the kind of laugh you make when you can't believe something's actually happening....."L'Anita!" he said, turning to face the mirror, "Do you know what you just did?" I turned and looked in the mirror too.

That's when I realized what I'd done.

Fortunately for me, my husband is a saint. Not only did he not get upset, he started comforting me when I burst into tears at the sight of the bald streak I'd created!

After a few minutes of rubbing my back and telling me everything was going to be ok, my practical husband suggested that we figure out what to do with the rest of his hair. He examined the situation from all angles in the mirror and said there was only one thing to do. "We'll have to do the same thing all around," he said.

I choked on a sob and managed to compose myself instantly. "No!"

Several minutes later, we'd reached a compromise: we would create an identical bald stripe on the other side of his head, then go around with the shortest attachment, and then attempt to "blend" the two lengths (and there was quite a difference between them!). The thought of purposely shaving a stripe on the other side of his head just didn't feel right to me, but, as Erik pointed out, he would "look like a freak" with only one sideburn. I guess he had a point.

So that's what we did. And here's what it looked like when we were done.

The pictures just don't do it justice. It looked ten times worse in person. But then again, I didn't take any right away, when it was just the one awful-looking bald streak. Of course I wasn't about to whip out the camera at such a moment. What kind of insensitive, tacky wife would do that? I had the decency to wait till after we'd "fixed" him before I asked permission to take pictures. Besides, I was too busy freaking out at first to think about documenting "The Worst Haircut Ever."

And just to give you a better idea, here's what Erik normally looks like:
Ok, minus the block in his mouth...

Erik, the Saint, de-sideburned--right before he put a hat on for the weekend

Right before he walked out the door, Erik wrapped his arms around me, told me I was wonderful, and said he loved me. Then he thanked me for cutting his hair (?) and "not freaking out on him." (??) Then he kissed me and left the house smiling.

Sometimes I don't think I deserve that guy....

The Happy Ending: Erik bumped into several other church friends at the youth conference that night. When he explained why he was wearing a hat, one of them said, "Don't worry, Erik! There's only one difference between a good hair cut and a bad hair cut."

"And what is that?"

"Two weeks."

Bless you, Trish. That's the kind of perspective we need around here.

SNOW!

That's right. It's the beginning of March, and we've got snow on the ground! Pretty crazy. Abigail and I went for a little walk yesterday to enjoy this unusual treat. My excitement wore off about two seconds after we walked out the door, when an icy gust of wind hit me in the face. Abigail's lasted a little longer--until about the first time she slipped and experienced the sting of the snow on her hands.

I know, it's just not quite as fun as it looks. At least she kept her mittens on after that.

(Ok, maybe she didn't keep them on.) She didn't mind sitting in the snow, however. I guess when you've got a little diaper padding it's not so bad.

By the time we headed home, I was carrying a sobbing, soggy-bottomed little girl who was holding her frozen hands up to my face pathetically, saying, "Mano! Mano!

Guess it's a good thing we live in the South.

It sure is pretty, though.

I've been tagged...

7 Things I want to do before I die

1) Get organized
2) Attain my bachelor's degree
3) Publish a book
4) Write my life's history
5) Speak Spanish fluently
6) Live in South America
7) Visit some of the places of my dreams -- Italy, New Zealand, and the British Isles are on my list

7 Things I cannot do
1) Make a decent pie crust (still trying, though!)
2) Enjoy salmon (Erik's still in denial about it)
3) Blow a snot rocket, much as I'd like to (.....uh...just kidding)
4) Keep the map of Atlanta straight in my head
5) Navigate malls -- so I just avoid them
6) The split
7) Understand physics

7 Things that attracted me to my spouse

1) His maturity, as unromantic as that sounds
2) The "Latino" in him--that is, he speaks Spanish, which is a language I love, and he wooed me with Spanish love songs (that is, we listened to them in his car). He can also dance like a Latino. Very attractive, in my opinion. Wish it would rub off on me.
3) He is handsome and athletic.
4) His potential to make lots of money. No, just kidding. I was impressed that he was in medical school, though, which showed he was hard working and would be able to provide for a family. Most of all, I appreciated the fact that he wanted to have a family.
5) Those sexy Express jeans. I mean....he dresses very nicely. (thanks to the women in his life who have good taste! Wink, wink, Cindy and Grandma H...)
6) His intelligence
7) I've always known that he loves the Lord and tries to do what's right.

7 TV shows I love
I don't watch any tv shows, so we'll change this to "7 Books I love."
1) The Chronicles of Narnia
2) Anne of Green Gables series
3) David Copperfield
4) Harry Potter series
5) Pride and Prejudice and anything else by Jane Austen
6) Go Forward with Faith - the biography of Gordon B. Hinckley
7) Little Women

7 Sites I visit every day
I don't do much on the computer except check email, submit homework assignments, work on the blog and look at other people's blogs. Not very interesting.

7 Movies I could watch over and over
1) It's a Wonderful Life
2) Anne of Green Gables/Anne of Avonlea
3) Pride and Prejudice, A&E version (maybe not over and over-- 5 1/2 hours is a long time)
4) Little Women
5) The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence
6) A Little Princess
7) Willow

7 Things I look forward to every day

1) Abigail waking up...and Abigail going down for a nap (What? Doesn't that make sense?)
2) Watching Abigail explore the world and blow me away with everything she learns
3) Having quiet time to myself so I can read and do homework or projects
4) Getting the mail!
5) Hearing the key in the door--meaning Erik's home!
6) Making dinner for my family and eating together
7) Reading with Erik before we go to bed