For Grandpa

Well I guess it's about time I posted some pictures on this blog I've been neglecting. My sweet grandfather in Arizona (who never complains, as he reminded me), is starting to complain and has made some serious threats if I don't do something before the end of the month. So, punctual as always....I am putting up some pictures on this, the last day of September.

Here are a few highlights from our summer we haven't covered on the blog:

May/June

We enjoyed some wonderful family reunions during these months--a Weiler reunion in Pennsylvania in May and one in Charleston for the Heisses in June. I have a long, unfinished post I started about the Weiler reunion. I'm sure one of these days I'll get around to posting it, so I'll save the pictures for then....

We also planted a garden in May! I use the word "garden" to make myself feel good. Our garden consisted of three plants: a tomato plant (which we were given), a red bell pepper plant, and a basil plant. Our harvest to date? One delicious and beautiful tomato and one delicious and beautiful red pepper. Our basil has done pretty well. We've had it in salads and pasta and made one batch of yummy pesto. I could've harvested more of the basil, I'm sure, but I didn't always think of it. In fact, several times a neighbor of ours would actually come knock on the door and tell me something was ready to harvest. She would water the plants sometimes too. I suppose I ought to be embarrassed, but we have a really good relationship with her (mainly because she's a retired Montessori teacher and is in love with Abigail) and gardening is her big hobby. Plus I was morning sick. I can always use that excuse, right?

Erik and I have wanted to have a garden since we got married, but I always dismissed the thought since we live in a condo. However, when someone offered us the tomato plant, I decided we could use the space right outside our front door since we're the only ones who live downstairs in our building and no one would really care. So we bought the basil and pepper plants, along with several different herbs I forgot to mention (because they all died....), and thrust in our sickles with the intent to gain a little knowledge and experience and have fun doing something as a family. I am pleased to report that we met our objectives 100 percent, and we got a tomato, a pepper, and pesto to boot! So it was worth it to us. We did learn a few things from our mistakes, though. Most importantly, I learned that a desire to have a garden and happy visions of it being a unifying family experience will not yield herbs and vegetables. Next time, I need to do more homework and be consistent in tending the plants. Also, we will never try to grow cilantro. I just hope we always live near a farmer's market.

July

Erik became an official pediatrics resident at Emory on July 1st! It was only slightly anti-climatic since "orientation" started in mid-June. We are very proud of him. To say that he is working hard would be a gross understatement, but he's been cheerful and energetic (ok, except for post-call days...) and positive. I'm grateful for how hard he's working to be a good resident and provider for our family, but I'm especially grateful for his continued efforts to be a good husband and father. This month he's been averaging 75 hours a week (on night-float week, he was putting in 14-19 hours a day...or...a night...), but I complain about his schedule a lot more than he does. What a trooper! We love him so much and always look forward to the time we get to spend with him.....even if it's just for family prayer and bedtime songs at night.

July 16th--Happy birthday, Erik!
(He's still 25, in case you were wondering.) We enjoyed a nice dinner with his family to celebrate.

"Abigail, how many watermelon slices is that for you?"

Waiting to cut the cake...

August

Back to Seabrook! Erik's first week's vacation (he gets three a year) was in August, so we enjoyed another brief visit with his grandparents. Erik's cousin, Kaitlyn, also got to come down with them from Michigan (where they live for half the year), and she's wonderful with Abigail.

Here we are, on a very humid morning, at the original Charlestown Landing.
Fearless...

Cute little beach bum
Here's a delighted Abigail, swimming in a little hole daddy dug for her. Erik is in heaven at Seabrook. Brings back many pleasant childhood memories for him.
Abigail's not that into castle-building yet, but I'm sure Erik's enthusiasm for it will rub off on her some day...How do you like this Gothic masterpiece?

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So after a busy and eventful summer, things have settled down quite a bit here. Our pregnancy is going very well. For those who don't know, we are having another girl! We're thrilled that Abigail will have a sister close in age to her. I'm sure we'll all go through the normal adjustments once baby sister actually gets here, but right now Abigail speaks excitedly about being a big sister. Today she said to me out of the blue, "I love baby sister. Can she come out.....now?" She consistently tells me that she's going to "teach baby sister how to play with the dollhouse." And she can't wait to hold her.

As for baby sister's name, still pending....(read Erik won't cooperate!)

Although I don't get around to blogging about it much, I am loving life right now. Abigail is just delightful. Honestly, who came up with "terrible twos?" I'm not saying my daughter never does normal two-year-old things, but it's like saying motherhood is all about laundry and changing diapers. Those things come with the territory, but there are simply way more of the delightful aspects than there are of the mundane and dreary ones. I am just in love with my two-year-old. I think it's a wonderful and adorable age.

Our lives are very simple right now, and I am grateful for that. We stay busy taking care of Daddy and the house and the finances (it's so wonderful to have a paying job!! But how does it all go so quickly??). We stay at home together most of the time. One of my favorite parts of the day is reading with her. That's what she wants to do right when she wakes up. She brings a stack of books to me on the couch, and we cuddle up and read until she loses interest or until mommy's pregnant tummy can't delay breakfast any longer.

She loves playing "mommy-and-baby" games with whatever strikes her fancy or happens to be on hand--the usual baby dolls and dollhouse people and stuffed animals of course, but also pieces of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich, smiley face stickers, crayons and pencils, you name it. She also loves to sprinkle everything with pixie dust and fly around the room saying, "Off to Neverland!"

We also get to spend a lot of time with Abigail's favorite playmate/cousin, Clark. What a blessing for them (and their mommies!) that they live across the street from each other! My brother Caleb and his wife, Shannyn, moved to Atlanta in January, and it's such a treat to have them close by. Clark calls on the phone to talk with Abigail regularly, and they get together to play often. I think Shannyn and I both use each other's children as emergency escape routes when our own get too restless or bored at home.

Abigail holding cousin Jane (Clark's younger sister)
A very typical Clark-and-Abigail moment (can't remember why their shirts are all wet)
After making serious threats if they didn't cooperate for this picture. (They're wearing the Pennsylvania t-shirts my grandparents gave them after the reunion.)

With both sets of grandparents living only half an hour away, we spend a good deal of time over there as well. Sunday family dinners have become an informal tradition. What a blessing to have our families close by during residency! We sure have fun with them.

Last Thursday we took advantage of Bruster's "Banana Thursday"--half price on banana split if you bring your own banana. Erik got home "early" (before bedtime), so we had him with us. What a special treat! Ice cream and Daddy! Couldn't ask for more.

I'm including two little videos, mainly for a sweet Abigail-starved-great-grandpa who never complains...

Joy in Every Sound

I have been feeling like a different person lately. And it has nothing to do with pregnancy hormones or my newly-expanding waistline.

I've just felt more cheerful. More motivated and hopeful. More delighted with being a wife and mother. It's not that I didn't have those feelings before; it's just that I feel them more strongly and constantly now, with fewer waves of discouragement and self-doubt. When I look back over the last few years, I can see that I have slowly been changing. My nature has changed. My perspective has changed. And the changes are becoming more noticeable to me, which is encouraging and motivates me to continue changing.

Besides the many experiences that come with marriage and motherhood that have taught and stretched and shaped me over the last three years (and those last two descriptors are used only figuratively...), there have been some other powerful influences that have sparked these changes. They all come in the form of General Conference talks. I would highly recommend them to anyone, but especially mothers.

Here are the links:
"Mothers Who Know" by Julie Beck
"What Latter-day Saint Women Do Best: Stand Strong and Immovable" by Julie Beck
"Daughters of God" by Elder M. Russell Ballard

Then during last October's General Conference, President Thomas S. Monson, our prophet, delivered a message that hasn't left me. I think about it almost every day. He entitled his talk "Finding Joy in the Journey." You can read it here. The funny thing is that his message wasn't anything "new" or earth-shattering. It contained principles I've heard all my life. But I guess I was just in a more "ready" state to hear them this time, and they really sunk in.

The following excerpt could provide a brief summary but really doesn't do his message justice. I would urge you to read (or reread) the entire talk.

"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now."

And there's this line, of which I remind myself almost daily:

"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly."

Fingerprints and dirty laundry don't really overwhelm me at this stage of motherhood. But there are definitely other things--little things--that can, if I let them. I could write lists, but most of you have probably already experienced them.

Ever since I heard President Monson's address, though, things have changed. I have changed. The way I feel when I get up in the morning has changed. The way I look at Abigail has changed. The way I view our time together each day has changed. The way I respond to temper tantrums and two-year-old defiance has changed. I have prayed daily since hearing that talk for the Lord to help me remember it, and I have tried harder to look for and take advantage of the little daily joys of motherhood. When you are looking for them, they're easy to find.

I show more affection--pure and unrestrained. I tell Abigail at random moments--when she's holding my hand in the parking lot, when she's climbing onto the couch to read with me, when we're sitting down to lunch together--that I love her and being her mommy makes me happy. And the wonderful, unexpected result is that now she tells me the same thing, and not just after I say it to her. Last night, I was singing her a bedtime song in the rocking chair, and she suddenly took my face in her little hands and said, with the biggest smile, "I love you so much!"
I listen more. I play with her more. I chase her around the house more. When she asks me to repeat a silly phrase or run around in a circle with her in the living room (or sit on her favorite window sill with her), I do. I include her more in the things I do, instead of trying to distract her with something else so I can get my work done. I write down the funny things she says and does. Or take pictures of them. (Ok, that's nothing new...)

I rejoice more in her accomplishments. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

I try to invent more fun (and simple!) things for us to do together during the day--like picnic lunches at the park! (The enormous basket on the left provided ample room for our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but Abigail insisted on carrying her own little picnic basket as well. Cutie.)

The result of my efforts is that I feel greater love and joy and fulfillment than ever before. And on the days when Abigail exhibits the classic "terrible two" behavior or the days when I don't accomplish all the things I wanted to or the days when I'm just not looking or feeling my best, I take comfort in reminding myself that I am focusing on the most important things in life and finding joy in them.

Abigail's favorite song of late is one of our church hymns, "Love at Home." I think this is a fitting little clip to conclude this lengthy post. In case you can't understand her, she is singing a line from the chorus,

"There is joy in every sound, when there's love at home."

I guess that's a good note to end on.

Another doctor in the family!

I failed to document a very important event in our lives: Erik's graduation from Emory Medical School on May 11th! I had good intentions of putting pictures up that week....but it was a busy week.

However, I did get up with him at 6 am that morning and get him to school for pictures by 7. And I did show up on time for the 8 o'clock ceremony. AND I did my hair and smiled in the pictures.

What more can you ask of a morning sick wife?

The first ceremony that morning was the all-campus graduation. Former President of Mexico, Vicente Fox, was the guest speaker. Here is Erik's class standing for the bestowal of their degrees. Erik received two degrees that day: his M.D. and a master's in public health.

Dr. and Mrs. Heiss (Jr.)

Erik's proud parents, Dr. and Mrs. Heiss, Sr.

And here are two devoted younger siblings, Cindy and Ben, who also got up bright and early to attend the graduation (Erik's other sister, Kris, was watching Abigail, bless her!). We sure appreciated the family support.

We were delighted that my parents could make it as well. Although my mom sometimes gives Erik a hard time about going into pediatrics now that it's not useful to her, she and Dad are very proud of him.

Dr. Heiss, Sr., sporting his Michigan robes, actually got to hood Erik during the private medical school graduation ceremony that took place later that morning. It was pretty special for both of them. Of course every last one of the pictures I took turned out either dark or blurry. The chapel had funky lighting. Or I don't know how to use my camera.

Erik's dad works at Egleston Children's Hospital as a pediatric surgeon. It was always a neat experience for Erik to be in the OR with his dad during medical school. Kurt Heiss is a well-respected name there.

And here's a little countdown chain that Abigail and I made before graduation.

Erik started his three-year pediatric residency on July 1st. We haven't really gotten a taste yet for what it will be like during those three years, since he only worked for two days last week before getting a three-day break for the holiday! He is starting out in the nursery at Grady and has been enjoying it so far. We'll see how the rest of the year goes!

We're sure proud of our doctor!

Motherhood

I went in for my first OB visit yesterday, at 15 1/2 weeks. It feels like just the other day I was there for Abigail! I had forgotten how weird and uncomfortable it is to get a pap smear...That is definitely not my favorite procedure to sit through. But I'll tell you what is my favorite and what makes sitting through the pap smears and all the other unpleasantries of OB visits worth it: getting to hear the heartbeat.

I have been looking forward to that all these weeks. I can't explain the rush of emotion that floods my entire body as soon as the Doppler picks up that rapid thumping--coming from my body but someone else's heart. A tiny someone I haven't even seen or felt and yet already love. Although I hear it at every visit, that beautiful sound never loses its novelty for me.

An even bigger treat, which I wasn't expecting at this first appointment, was an ultrasound. My midwife offered to bring in the machine so we could have a look at the baby. She is not a technician and couldn't do any measurements, but of course I was still delighted.

Having already confessed how emotional I feel over a heartbeat, you can imagine how I felt at seeing a perfect little body--with tiny arms and legs and hands that were moving!

"Aww," the midwife said, "don't you just want to hold him?"

That evening I was having slightly-less-than-tender feelings toward my two-year-old as I chased her around the house with pajamas and toothbrush in hand. I managed to wrestle her into her pajamas while she took a turn brushing her teeth. Afterwards when she refused to surrender the toothbrush so I could have a turn, I told her that she would lose her bedtime story if she chose to disobey.

She chose to disobey. So we went to her room without a story, which, of course, caused a major meltdown. As I tried to put her in bed, she told me she needed to give Papa a kiss. Well, I'm a sucker for that stalling technique. So we went and found Erik, but she decided she didn't want to kiss him goodnight after all. Of course as we walked back to her room, she changed her mind. "Sorry," I told her, "we lost our opportunity." Another meltdown. Of course when we got to her room, I changed my mind. (Did I mention I'm a sucker for this stalling technique?)

"Ok," I said, "I will give you one more chance to kiss Papa goodnight." She calmed down and gave Erik a kiss and then waved to him sweetly as we headed back to her room. I sat with her in the rocking chair and sang a few songs. She curled up in my lap and laid her head on my chest. Then she looked up at me with the sweetest smile and said, holding up an index finger, "Mommy, sing ooooooone more song!" Well, I'm a sucker for this stalling technique. So I asked her what song she'd like me to sing. "The mermaid song!" Little Mermaid it was.

As I sang it for the third time (did I mention I'm a sucker for this particular stalling technique?), she looked up at me and said brightly, "Mommy, you really good singer!"

Sometimes--like when I'm chasing Abigail through the parking lot with an armload of groceries or wrestling her into her car seat while she's throwing a tantrum or struggling to get out the door on time to church as I balance a million books and bags in my arms and try to move my toddler gently up a huge flight of stairs with my foot because she's pausing to admire every ant and leaf along the way--I wonder how on earth I'm ever going to manage two children. (What I really start to wonder is how on earth my mother managed ten!)

But other times--like when I'm watching Erik and Abigail laugh their heads off at some game they've invented or when I listen to Abigail sing or when we snuggle on the couch together to read or when she "helps" me in the kitchen while I'm baking bread or making dinner or when I'm looking down at her as she's sleeping peacefully in her bed--I think there's nothing on earth as wonderful and fulfilling as being a mother. And I want to be one again. And again. And again.

An explanation or two

Sorry for our long absence. I feel I owe you an explanation.

Explanation #1: Maya.
Maya is the daughter of a friend of mine, who we have been babysitting full time for the last three weeks. Two little girls have been keeping me much busier than I had anticipated!

Explanation #2: Erik's master's thesis. Erik has been working hard on this the last few months. Often he will work at school all day, come home for dinner, and then get on the computer here to continue working on it after Abigail goes to bed. And since I haven't had much time or energy during the day to work on the blog (up until a few days ago, Maya's naps did not overlap with Abigail's nap, so one of them was always up), the only time I could have spent on it would have been in the evenings. This is a rather lame excuse, though, because I probably wouldn't have worked on the blog even if Erik hadn't been monopolizing the computer. I was very content to sit on the couch for several hours and read. It's a luxury I am usually too busy to indulge in these days.

Explanation #3: This is actually my #1 excuse--at least the one I choose to use the most. Abigail reveals it in the video.

Happy Easter & Passover

Around this time each year I get excited with the arrival of Spring and all the new growth and life that it brings. I really love getting outside more and playing soccer in the spring grad student league. Although it is a brutal reminder that I am not as fit as my mind remembers, something about playing infuses energy into me for days. This year is especially fun as I approach graduation and get to relax and enjoy life with my family and friends a little more. I'll worry about the daunting responsibility of becoming a doctor and caring for patients in July, but for now life is good (except for my public health master's thesis - note my procrastination here).

Easter seems to fit in so well with all the joy and excitement of springtime. While we have some fun plans for Easter such as an egg hunt with the under 5 year olds and Easter dinner with the family, I also like to try to do something to make the meaning of these special days real and alive for me. In the past I have seen a passion play, and a musical allegory called the Garden. I try to read and study about the great sacrifice that was done for all. I like to listen to Handel's Messiah as well as other music celebrating the resurrection of Christ. There are many different ways that people remember and honor the Savior, and many ways to serve Him and draw closer to Him. I wish I could say that I am extremely consistent in doing that year round or that I have a nifty way to celebrate Easter. Like many, I am trying to do better and be better in the midst of a busy world. I hope that this will be a memorable and meaningful holy day/week for each of us.

In an attempt to contribute to everyone's Easter, I will try to include below a 5 min. video made from an excerpt of a meeting we had last week. Twice a year we have a "general conference" of the Church. We hear from prophets, apostles and other inspired leaders. The broadcast is transmitted all over the world and translated into over 80 languages. All that goes to say that this is an Easter message for the whole world from a modern day apostle, Jeffrey Holland- something I esteem as of special value.

A Red Letter Day!

Our family had several reasons to celebrate last Thursday, March 19th. It was Abigail's second birthday and "Match Day" for Erik, the long-awaited event that would tell us where we were going to be the next three years during Erik's residency. I had also completed my finance class the day before, so I was able to relax and enjoy the day!

Here we are with bedhead and PJs on, opening Abigail's birthday box from Great-grandma Heiss. The suspense had been building for several days, but she was pretty sure she knew what was inside: cake.

Showcasing what was actually inside the box--a cute little picnic basket equipped with a tea set. No cake, unfortunately. Abigail was enchanted nonetheless.

Great-grandma also sent an animal counting book with removeable pieces. It was quite the page-turner.

Looks like a big hit, Grandma!

But nothing is as cool as bubblewrap.
This was another birthday present, which Erik's mom and dad delivered the week before Abigail's birthday, right before they left on an anniversary cruise. Another big hit!
And a little something to climb on too! We now officially have the coolest back porch on the block. Now Grandma just needs to help me screen it in before the mosquitos come! Otherwise mommy's watching from inside....

The best part of the morning for me was just having Erik home with us. Mornings when we're all together and not in a hurry aren't too common these days, but when they do come, I usually experience a surge of domestic energy and out come the apron and the pancake griddle! I must've been feeling a little too care-free and happy, though, because I dumped 3 tsp. of baking soda into the batter instead of baking powder. So we bit into some very bitter pancakes. I was the first to make a face. Erik took a bite and said they were fine, until the aftertaste kicked in. Then he did something for the first time ever in our marriage: he emptied his plate into the trash can. I followed suite. Abigail, on the other hand, finished hers and asked for more!

After breakfast (yes, I did make another batch of pancakes, by the way), we all drove to Emory for the big Match Day event. There was a little down time before the actual letter-opening, during which Abigail discovered the heavy construction work going on across the street. So she dragged Daddy over, and they walked along the fence with Abigail on his shoulders. She's carrying her doctor doll, which she thought fitting to bring along for the occasion.

There's just something endearing about a little girl who's got her daddy wrapped around her finger.

Ok, not the greatest picture, but you get the idea. The families and friends were all in the back, and the medical students were up front waiting for the dean to stop talking. At ten seconds till noon, we started the countdown. (Abigail got a little confused.) When the clock struck noon, there was a mad rush up to the table in the front to get your letter. Erik managed to find us in the crowd, and then he opened his envelope.

Our reaction to finding out that we'd matched at.....EMORY!! (Abigail was beginning to zone out at this point. Did I mention this event was during naptime?) Ok, to be honest, it was a little anti-climatic, with all the yelling and screaming and jumping up and down that was going on around us. That's not to say we were disappointed. Emory was our top pick, so we were very pleased....but we kinda already knew it was coming. And since nothing's really going to change, there wasn't much to start jumping up and down about. That said, we are VERY happy to be staying here. We think it was the best decision for our family, despite the attractions of some of the other programs where Erik interviewed. Our choice to rank Emory first wasn't as easy as we thought it was going to be. Erik was very impressed by and excited about some of the other schools where he interviewed, like Vanderbilt and D.C. and UAB, and he didn't think he would be as happy at Emory as he would in another program. But we both felt that living close to our families right now has been and will continue to be a great blessing. It's kind of a "golden age" right now with both our families. All of Erik's family members and all but two of my ten siblings are in GA, almost all of them within half an hour's drive. That probably won't last forever, but while it does, we want to be a part of it. Well, at least for the next three years.

Congratulations, Erik! We're so proud of you!